Create a soundtrack to your life
One of my favorite childhood memories is of my parents’ record collection. I would sit in front of our stereo with the records spread over the living room carpet, balancing the much-too-large headphones over my ears. I would close my eyes and listen with delight, awe and sadness to The Kinks, Peter Frampton, Janis Joplin, Cream, Chicago, and the Allman Brothers. What I heard affected me.
It’s a wonder my parents didn’t guess I would be a DJ and run a radio station one day.
Music can move me in a way nothing else can. When people ask me about my spirituality, I tell them that it’s one part music, one part night sky and one part ocean (gawd, I sound like a hippie). Nothing gets at my soul as quickly and profoundly as music does. I can still spend an evening happily with my headphones on lying on my own living room floor, just in front of my computer now instead of a hi-fi.
After spending this past Saturday night hanging out with GIWS listening to music and talking for a few hours, he pointed out a habit I’ve known about for a while. “You and your kicks,” he said. “You get on these kicks with certain albums.” It’s true. I tend to take an album, whether it just came out or I suddenly get the urge to revisit it, and I listen to it over and over and over. For like weeks, usually months at a time, until I’m absolutely sick of it and can’t stand to hear it for another 6 months or so.
The really amazing thing about my little habit, which has annoyed the crap out of almost every boyfriend I’ve had who doesn’t understand my relationship to music, is that it creates an aural memory-inducer. In layman’s terms, later in life when I hear a song from that “kick” it takes me instantly back to that few weeks or months of my life.
It’s fantastic.
When I hear Death Cab For Cutie’s “The Photo Album,” I am swept instantly back to my sophomore year of college. I was playing it non-stop in the fall of that year, and it reminds me of my best friend Amanda, trying to repress my shouted requests when they toured through Orlando that year, and making out with a cute, cute boy to track #3.
When I hear Coldplay’s “Parachutes,” I am instantly sitting on the shared upstairs porch with my dorm mate Heeral, drunkenly shouting the lyrics after sauntering back to campus as a freshman who somehow didn’t get carded at a British pub. It always reminds me of the way you could tell she was drunk because she’d start speaking with a British accent.
When I hear Neil Halstead’s “Sleeping on Roads,” I can vividly remember my first apartment in Orlando and how gorgeous the spring was that year, my junior year of college. I would put it on while doing little things, like putting clean, hot pink sheets on my bed or sitting in my favorite chair (a hideous green wool La-Z-Boy I bought for $5 at a garage sale) overlooking second-story trees in bloom while reading. It reminds me of much simpler times.
What I’ve done with my play-the-crap-out-of-it habit is create a soundtrack to my life. The Verve is what I listened to my first month of sobriety, and “Lucky Man” is the official song of my sober life. Pete Yorn is what I listened to as I fell for GIWS. And now, as I go through what I can only describe as a new painful period of growth, I am stuck on Radiohead’s “The Bends.”
I don’t fight it because I know that it will help me get through today and that one day in the future I’ll hear it and be swept back to these days, fondly remembering how I didn’t know yet what was in store for me. Maybe that’s the fun part of making the memory – realizing that this will be the past one day and that I might as well enjoy where I’m at.
I have thought about doing this before… it really is a great idea. Music really can take you back to certain times in your life, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. Plus if it is something that you eventually share with someone special, they will be able to know you better. Music can say things that we cannot find the words to.
Stories! Love it!!!! If you haven’t checked out my blog yet, please do. I need your comments.
Also, The Verve’s new album is coming out tomorrow!!
Peace.
Having been raised by the same parents as you, I completely understand your connection to music. I know I have a soundtrack to my life…certain songs mean so much to me. I love the book, Love is a Mix Tape, by Rob Sheffield, and of course, High Fidelity. Both men are so vulnerable to music, it’s great!
I want to share my soundtrack… but I think I’ll blog it and make you read it
@Kristi: Absolutely! I cannot tell you how many times I sat next to a guy, saying “This is one of my favorite songs,” and watching his face. It’s a barometer. When I had my one-year sobriety anniversary, part of what I read to my group were the lyrics from a song that helped me get through it. Even instrumental songs can say it better than I can.
@d.edlen: I’ll definitely check your blog out. And yes, I love sharing and hearing stories, especially as they relate to music-love. I didn’t know the Verve was even coming out with a new album. Woot!
@marta: I totally need to read that book! And I loved Nick Hornby’s philosophy on making a comp. Genius. And I love that my big sister is blogging now!
I go on kicks too. Usually it’s great. But every once in awhile there are songs or albums I can no longer listen to because they got associated with a bad time in my life. Last summer was probably the most stressful several months of my life due to my job. Towards the end, I kept listening to “Hey There Delilah” because it was so calm and pretty and it brought my blood pressure down. Except now it has the reverse effect – I hear it and get reminded of how stressed out it was and then I can feel my heart pounding again. And for awhile, it was really hard for me to listen to the Beach Boys because my ex and I used to play those songs a lot. But in general most songs/albums I went on kicks on get associated with good memories. There’s some meme that asks you to put your iTunes/iPod on shuffle, list the first 10-20 songs that come up, and write what they remind you of. It’s a fun exercise and your blog post reminded me of it…
great post Holly! I’m right there with you in hippie land as far as the music, beach and outdoors go. You really inspired me to go back and do the same – start making a playlist of my life. Right now I’m very much on a Portishead/Pink Floyd/Radiohead kick…
This is a great idea, Holly. I love doing something similar with key life events using Animoto, and I love looking back on them with the music reminding me of the mood of that event
just stumbled upon your blog and am really enjoying what you have to say. i am the same way with albums; i will play one until its death. i can remember so clearly coming home from school every day and playing the soundtrack from the 90s version of romeo and juliet while i did my 8th grade math homework.
mostly though, i have songs that remind me of my GIWSs, as you so perfectly put it. sometimes hearing them makes me sad, other times they can bring back really nice memories.
one part music, one part night sky and one part ocean
yeah me too
i’m pisces blue
am thoughtful, patient
no tattoo
good luck with the coffee bar
I have run “I’d love to change the world” by Ten Years After right into the ground this month…but I still love it.
Then to get my head on straight about men I go to The Dixie Chicks…Hole in My Head.
It says it on.
Enjoy your “no plans” weekend. They are THE BEST!
Peace.
I am just so glad I am not the only one who feels that way about music in my life. My husband gets so annoyed (usually after I have played the same song for the 200th time) and just does not get what music can do for me. It is more than a memory- It really is a deeper experience. Thanks for sharing and keep on enjoying great music!
[...] and remember what I was feeling when I first listened to it. I feel so strongly about creating a soundtrack to your life, I wrote about it [...]