Start from here

startIt began a year ago. One test lead to a biopsy, which in turn led to 3 months of waiting. Waiting to see if my body would “take care of it.” I ate healthy, exercised, didn’t drink or smoke, so the doctor blamed stress. I turned my life upside down in the quest for stress-free living.

Another biopsy. A surgery.

Fatigue, bone-wearying fatigue, the kind where you barely make it work every day and want nothing but sleep.

A test. Another biopsy, followed by a two-week lapse into the border on despair.

A visit to an internal specialist, a work-up, a second opinion, allergy testing. A surprise ending from the second opinion – there’s nothing to worry about, the first doctor’s approach was aggressive and had severely overtreated me.

Just like that. Release. A clean bill of health.

The soul-tired feeling fell away within a few days… it took some time to sink in, but once it did my heart felt so light. Finally, finally my shoulders relaxed. I think they had been hunched for months, the constant companion of sad and tired eyes.

The actual tired feeling, it turns out, is the result of chronic untreated allergies. I am allergic to dust mites, mold, cat hair, trees, soy and wheat. I started medication immediately.

It’s only been a day, but already the constant fog has lifted. I have energy. Energy I wondered if I would ever have again – energy to blog, to read, to talk, to do laundry – even after a full day of work.

I have energy.

It’s true that you don’t know how valuable things are until they are gone. The nights I would cry out of frustration and exhaustion were more and more frequent. I had, ironically, spent a year trying to figure out how to not pack my schedule, only to find somewhere in the middle that I couldn’t do what I had been used to doing even if I wanted to.

But now it’s back. I have energy.

And I get to start again. I can start from here.

Photo credit: basegreen via Flickr.

12 Responses to “Start from here”

  1. Woot for second opinions! I’m so glad for your treatment, energy and the physician who looked more closely (and you for seeking more knowledge and being your own healthcare advocate).

    My little one is on a regime of Zyrtec & Singulair and it’s been amazing to see how much better controlled his allergies are (which means an incredilby reduced number of asthma attacks as well). Amazing was a couple of little pills can do for the quality of your life.


  2. Wow, girl. Your allergic to more than me!

    Congrats on your clean bill of health! And congrats on having energy to live your life ;-)

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  4. Holly Hoffman says:

    I have to give mad props to Sherry – she recommended the internal specialist I went to and he was awesome, awesome, awesome. It amazes me that some doctors can be so dismissive of the way you feel. I’ll be writing a post about that very topic, Sherry, about the whole being your own health care advocate.

    Monica- I’ll probably be blogging about my newly revealed allergies. I’m already experiencing frustration at my food allergies. It’s unreal how many things contain soy & wheat…

  5. Elisa says:

    Holly, this is SUCH amazing news. For everything that you have been through to find out that it was something “so simple” in comparison to what you thought you were fighting.

    That being said soy AND wheat?! I have a couple gluten-free/celiac friends and they have a hard enough time with wheat. One once commented that at least she wasn’t allergic to soy. :(

    I’ll be looking forward to you blogging about your upcoming months with a new lifestyle. With much more energy and a new lease and outlook!

  6. SeSee says:

    Whew! Holly! Great news. I am glad you are back in gear! Congratulations. Vroom!

  7. Grace Boyle says:

    This is fantastic to hear. It’s so frustrating when you KNOW something is wrong or you’re misdiagnosed because it acts as a dead end. So unfair.

    I’m looking forward to hearing more posts from you and how you’re healing, feeling better, more light and less tired :)

  8. JR Moreau says:

    Cheers on learning how to kick ass again! Glad you’re feeling better Holly!

  9. Michael says:

    I had no idea you were going through so much over the past year. It must have been hell. So glad better days are ahead for you.

  10. David says:

    Good to have you back blogging again, Holly. :)

  11. J says:

    I really identify with this, having had (literally) crippling health problems when I was 21 that completely changed my life. Also, allergies completely suck. I once went into shock after an allergy test after being reassured that it was ‘impossible’ I would be allergic to everything being tested. How I love being the impossible one!

    I’m glad you’ve redisocovered your mojo though, will be back for more.

  12. Honey says:

    As far as I know, people with cat allergies aren’t allergic to the fur, they’re allergic to the saliva. The saliva coats the fur when the cat grooms itself and then flakes off into the air or when cat fur coated with saliva gets on you…poof, allergies.

    I would do ANYTHING to keep my cats. And as a veggie, I can’t imagine not eating wheat or soy…

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