When I first decided that I wanted to have my own company, someone recommended that I pick up a copy of “E-Myth Revisited” by Michael Gerber. That book has had an indelible impact on my life and the way I approach my business.

Last month I asked a colleague who I have collaborated with often if he would like to come on board my little company as a partner. The decision to start a business was a big one for me, and I’m very passionate about it. I know that sacrifices will have to be made, relationships may become strained, and free time might become non-existent. These are all things I am willing to take on for my business.

So when approaching my potential partner, I needed for both of us to be sure that this would be a good fit. He understands the role he would be taking on, and the responsibilities that go along with it. The thing that most people don’t realize is that this is like a marriage. You have to make sure that you’re compatible and that you want the same things for your future.

I turned to “E-Myth” for help. Gerber emphasizes the need for all business owners to first clarify what their primary aim is. Part of the reason so many people start their own businesses is so that they can live the life they want. It’s important to sit down and intentionally design the life you want to lead. Once your purpose and mission is clear, then you can start to build a company that will help you accomplish that life.

These are the questions Gerber says you need to answer:

1. What do I wish my life to look like?
2. How do I wish my life to be on a day-to-day basis?
3. What would I like to be able to say I truly know in my life, about my life?
4. How would I like to be with other people in my life – my family, my friends, my business associates, my customers, my employees, my community?
5. How would I like people to think about me?
6. What would I like to be doing two years from now? Ten years from now? Twenty years from now? When my life comes to a close?
7. What specifically would I like to learn during my life – spiritually, physically, financially, technically, intellectually? About relationships?
8. How much money will I need to do the things I wish to do? By when will I need it?

I have already answered the questions, and now my potential partner is working on them. When he finishes, we’ll share our answers with each other. Based on that, we’ll be able to see what each other want for the future, and whether or not this company will be a vehicle for both of us to those lives.

By the way, I recommend these questions to anyone searching for purpose in his or her life or for clarification thereof, whether starting a business or not.

If you haven’t read my previous post about my issues with mamahood, then go for it so you can get an idea of how serious I’ve been about not wanting kids. My sentiments are also echoed here and here [hat tip: Penelope Trunk; TwentySet]. Now, bear in my mind that the decision I’m scrutinizing is my own, and not the decision of whether or not to have kids in the empirical sense.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this lately, primarily because (of course) it is an issue in my fledgling relationship. Granted, we’ve both agreed that it’s not an immediate issue, but he would like to have at least one child with whomever he marries. It’s no secret that I’m crazy about the man, but I’m not willing to agree to children just because that’s what he wants.

We have had a lot of conversations about it though, and it’s got me thinking about it on my own. As I began to examine my issues with having kids, talking about it openly and honestly with friends of differing ages, marital and child status, and watching people with kids more closely, I started to realize how close-minded I’ve been.

I began to realize that my problem is not with actually having kids, but that they become an end in themselves and not a side effect of living the life I’d like.

A few things happened leading up to this realization. One, I’ve been talking with a mentor of mine who is 50 and has the coolest relationship with her daughter I’ve ever seen. I have no qualms being totally open and honest with her, even with the ugliest parts of myself. She pointblank told me one afternoon that I was being close-minded when it came to my thinking regarding family life. I realized that I was assigning arbitrary labels to people and making assumptions about their lives based upon that. Married, divorced, middle-aged, overweight, with or without kids, single, thin, etc. Does the label make the experience of the life?

Somewhere around that same time I was leaving Date #4’s house, and an early-thirties-ish couple walked by with a stroller and a grandparent in tow. They were just taking a Fourth of July stroll after a fresh rain, chatting and such. “That’s probably the best thing that could ever happen to me,” was the unwelcome thought that popped into my head. Whoa. Where’d that come from?

On my drive home, I rolled it around in my head and realized the truth of it. I’ve seen a lot of families that are happy, in which the parents continue to live dreams independent of their children. While their families greatly enhance their happiness, their kids are supplemental to the happiness that they already experience in life. They are not, and never did, expect children to be the main source of their happiness in life. They are simply one of the aspects of their life that they derive joy out of.

I have been watching a few families in my life since I began to seriously evaluate this issue. One is a young couple who have probably the cutest baby girl I’ve ever seen. I’ve said before that if I could insure that a child of mine would come out that cute, happy and well-mannered, I’d have kids without a doubt. The thing is that I watch the parents, too. They’re happy, and appear to be very much in love. I’m not close to them, and so they may have more problems than I’m aware, but they seem like fairly transparent people. I see them together, separate, and with their families. I won’t lie – there is a part of me that craves a normal family life because of the dysfunctional part of mine. They are always friendly and seem to possess a sense of peace about their lives.

I also watch my older female mentor and her family closely. She’s been a single mom for a long time, and her daughter is a well-adjusted, intelligent young woman. She has self-confidence at 13 that I still wish I had. The openness and frankness with which they deal with the little and big things in their lives is truly inspiring to me. It gives me goose bumps. That family probably has the most irreverent sense of humor I’ve been privy to and they have a lot of fun in their lives. It’s clear that they simply enjoy the ride.

Finally, I watch the families that make me not want kids. In doing so, I’ve come to realize that the thing that bothers me is not that they have children, but what their intentions or preconceived notions were in doing so. They all have a few things in common for the most part. One is that they had their children too young and/or too soon into a relationship/marriage. I’ve watched people have kids and treat them as accessories, and I’ve seen people have kids because they wanted something to love. They were trying to fill a hole that remains unfilled. And now they have kids to take care of when they didn’t know how to take care of themselves in the first place. (Side note: I was in the ER with my grandmother last night and a 17-year-old came in with impacted bowels, i.e. constipation. Her second birth and she didn’t realize that she should’ve been drinking lots of water, eating fiber, and probably shouldn’t have waited a week to tell the doctors she hadn’t had a bowel movement. If you can’t take care of yourself, how will you raise a child?)

I guess my point is that as Gen-Y women we’ve been told that “having it all” is a myth. That makes me feel like I have to choose between my career and having a child. It’s saying that I won’t be able to do both. While I know that to some extent one suffers at the hands of the other, I’ve been watching this young couple juggle a baby and a new business successfully. By successful, I mean that the baby is clearly happy and well cared for, the business is doing very well, and they both seem extremely happy and still in love, though at times admittedly tired.

It gives me hope. Perhaps I can live life happily without any sacrifices.

Earlier this week I ran across an amazing presentation on knowledge workers and office 2.0 on SlideShare (which is an awesome site – it’s like YouTube for presentations). Check it out:

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“Finally,” I thought. “Someone has defined me!” I’ve been trying to figure out a subtle way to e-mail it to my boss ever since.

Here’s the thing: Stephen Collins (the presenter) talks about “bursty” versus “busy” workers. Bursty workers are what we often define ourselves as in the Gen Y set. We may not look like we’re doing work, but we are. We might be at a café, chatting with coworkers in other departments, on Twitter… all the while, we are collecting information in our minds. We’re generating ideas; we’re rolling them around in our heads, working out the kinks.

Take myself, for example: I prefer to design web pages and logos while I’m on the treadmill. I have no idea why; it’s just what works for me. What are the odds my boss is going to let me leave the office at 4 so I can go for a run, though? I can tell you that answer: slim to none.

Bursty workers are called such because they tend to have highly productive bursts in which the majority of their work gets accomplished. They don’t want to be at a desk very often. They can often do in 30 hours what a busy worker will accomplish in 40. They surf the Web, they don’t keep normal office hours, they place importance on connecting with other departments and companies outside of their own, and they don’t mind failure. As a matter of fact, they fail a lot.

Anne Zelenka wrote the quintessential busy vs. bursty worker article more than a year ago. She says it best: “The lack of understanding between busy and burst goes beyond just the inability of the busy to see the value in using Web 2.0 tools. In almost every aspect of work, bursters look entirely unproductive and irresponsible when judged by busyness economy rules.”

You see, my boss is a busy worker. I am a bursty worker. Busy workers very rarely understand the bursty workers. Or, they try to figure out how to fit them into their paradigm: “If they produce more in less time, shouldn’t they just be producing more?” Wrong question. Collins states on his site that you simply can’t discount the time spent in thought, working out the structures.

I started e-mailing with Stephen Collins after watching that presentation, and he pointed out to me that bursty workers are not just Gen-Yers. He’s a Gen-Xer himself, and (of course) a bursty worker. Anyone can be a bursty worker, whether they are Gen Y or Boomer. Knowledge workers (anyone who works for a living at the tasks of developing or using knowledge), however, are especially apt to be bursters.

If you look at the traits of a burster, you’ll probably see the standard frustrations over Gen Y “work ethic” that our busy counterparts are always hemming and hawing over. I posit that these are not Gen Y traits, but that they are simply bursty worker traits. Due to the way that Gen Y has been brought up, we skew toward the bursty side, while our parents, and certainly our parents’ parents, skewed busy because of their environment.

I’d also like to point out that it seems now more than ever, there are more knowledge worker careers available also. My dad was a carpenter, and my mom was a dental assistant. They had to be present at their jobs during specific hours in order to produce. I am a research analyst. I sit in front of a computer most of the day. It doesn’t really matter where my computer is and when I sit at it. As I said above, I actually “produce” on the treadmill.

A problem with Gen Y’s work ethic? It’s not Gen Y. And it’s not a problem.

Note: This article was written in my head while walking around talking to coworkers, surfing the Web, reading Twitter updates, and browsing my Google Reader.

My first job was at a start-up of just three people (it grew to a whopping 12 at its largest). At first we didn’t even have separate offices, and as we grew, we upgraded to larger digs with more people crammed two to an office. At a start-up, everyone pretty much knows everything about each other’s lives. It’s not just the office sharing; it’s the long hours, the pent-up stress blowouts, and the commiseration over peeved significant others and your lack of life/sleep.

Things were a little different when I started at my present company, which has approximately 300 employees. My department is made up of only three people (sound familiar?), and we have one large open office. So, like before, we’re pretty much in tune with what’s going on in each other’s lives, without the crazy 60-to-80-hour week crap. (I love trying to figure out how to talk to gyno on the phone with my male boss within earshot. Fun.)

That said, there are nine other departments in my company, with varying numbers in each department (IT has three like us, while advertising has more than 50). I usually only have contact with these people when I need something from them. They don’t really know me from Adam, so I have to wait in line usually like everyone else. But I see the long-timers and the super-friendlies skipping their way to the figurative front of the line all the time. I figured this was just how it went and so be it.

There is a part of corporate life that I don’t always understand. It’s the water cooler conversations. To be honest, I don’t give a crap about American Idol, Let’s Make a Deal or what your kids are doing. The asinine things I would hear people talk about totally escaped me – there are times where what they are saying doesn’t even make sense, jokes with mismatched punch lines, etc.

But I learned how to speak it eventually. The first couple of times I didn’t even understand what I was saying but the coworker chuckled and left. As I caught on, I realized that while I may not care what’s going on in my coworkers’ lives, that connection can be leveraged.

If you aren’t a natural connector or social butterfly, try making a “goodwill tour” of your company. Take an hour or so in the morning, when folks are getting their coffee, checking their e-mail and reading the headlines to ask them how their weekend was, how their kids are, how their week is going so far.

I stopped by one department on Monday to ask a manager if he was feeling any better after being out the prior week. He seemed surprised and was genuine in his thanks for the inquiry. As I left I asked another coworker in that department how his weekend was and how his kids were, knowing how much he values his family. I asked another how her daughter’s graduation went, and made a joke about a woman having more work done than the coworker’s house, which I overhear her complaining about the renovation on.

I used to think these things were enormous productivity blockades and time-wasters. Sometimes they are; but other times it has helped me jump to the head of that proverbial line. How’s that cold, Roy? Oh, good to hear. Listen, I’m having tough time getting these lists…

While it sounds self-serving in some aspects, it’s helped me to get involved in my colleagues’ lives to a healthy extent. I have even built outside relationships with a small handful of them. Sometimes I have to be forced into social situations and increasing productivity and decreasing work downtime is a great motivator for me.

Despite being born under that social sun sign Sagittarius, I somehow grew up a very shy child. From an early age, I was bashful for pictures, shied away from large groups, and even once broke into tears when my mom turned our new video camera on me when I was 6. I never had a group of friends; I always had one best friend and that was it. Things remained this way through high school, and I was lucky in college to be accepted into a co-op dorm of 20 single rooms. I made friends, but it was difficult.

When I left college, I was thrust into a new world and a new culture. South Texas was a lot different from Florida – it was all about who you knew, not necessarily what your skills and experience were. Unfortunately, I approached the situation the wrong way my first two years here; I used some good old-fashioned social lubricant – booze. I’ve spent the past (sober) year learning my way around the professional networking scene and you might be surprised what’s helped me the most. The art of pick-up.

Get your laughs out of the way now. When I chanced upon an article through TwentySet about why you actually want a player boyfriend, I was ready to be pissed. Instead, I was intrigued. Lance’s arguments were solid – a player guy is social, has great communication skills, is articulate, has lots of friends and are humorous and playful. Interesting. These were all qualities that I actually wanted to possess, especially as it related to the social aspect.

I started to dig into the art of pick-up, as they call it, to learn more. I subscribed to bloggers who talked about it, began e-mailing with them, and reading the books that the guys read (there are no books on pick-up for women that I can find so far – there’s a reason for that, but that’s another post). I started talking with a few of my cooler guy friends about it and going out to clubs and doing online dating as ‘field research.’ Here’s what dabbling in pick-up has done for my social skills.

Approach
This is by far and away the area I have the most trouble with. Due to my natural shyness, it’s hard for me to start talking to people I don’t know. But this is necessary if you’re ever going to meet anyone new. Pick-up artists emphasize engaging your target in something on their level. For a female in a club it might be asking for their opinion on a good clothing store for guys. For a chick in a book store, it might be a recommendation for a book on self-improvement. 

This applies in a networking environment too. I was at a young professionals mixer recently and the same way that you don’t want to use a tired pick-up line at a bar, you don’t want to use the old stand-by of ‘what do you do?’ Instead I chose to comment on the venue (an art museum) and use that as an intro to conversations. “Are you familiar with Lichtenstein?” Luckily, my background is in fine art, so I could talk a little bit about pop art if the answer was no before moving into the ‘Hi, my name is Holly and here’s what I do’ conversation.

In social artistry (another name for pick-up), this is part of displaying my social worth, which is actually just as, if not more so, important in networking. Why would I be someone worth staying in contact with, having lunch with, etc? All of this can lead up to my contacts thinking of my company first when they or someone they know have need of it. Whether we realize it or not, we would always rather do business with someone who is social, easy to get along with and approachable.

Confidence/Self-Esteem
A large part of my shyness has to do with my confidence level. When I am in a situation I feel confident in, my shyness evaporates. Thus, the key is for me to feel confident in all situations. This goes directly to my self-esteem. If I feel awkward in a situation, I take a moment to do a quick little internal inventory. Why do I feel out of place? Am I less than the people around me? Hell no. A good pick-up artist knows his/her worth and will pump themselves up.

There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. So, let’s clear that up. Arrogance is defined as is an attitude of superiority manifested in presumptuous claims and assumptions. Confidence, on the other hand, is rooted in a consciousness of one’s powers or a state of being certain. I was just telling a guy friend that I am confident in my looks – I am conscious of my level of attractiveness. I am by no means a supremely hot chick. I’m cute, pretty even, have a fit body, and am attractive for a certain type. This is an objective inventory of my physical attractiveness; I’m not putting myself down or inflating my ego. It’s really where I stand. So when I approach a guy, I know I’ve got to be hitting on more cylinders than just physical attraction. I have to be funny, intelligent, easy-going and interesting, too. I’m not a girl who can carry a conversation with her looks.

Knowing exactly where I stand allows me to project confidence because I am certain and comfortable with it. It also allows me to compensate for it. If I thought I were a super-hot girl, I would probably not care about all those other things and I would bomb. Likewise, I’m aware that I’m a entry-level professional without a lot of contacts or experience, so I’ve got to hit on more cylinders than just my professional status when I am networking. I need to show where my prowess lies and what else I can offer a potential contact.

Appearance
Another thing the art of pick-up drove home to me is how much value is really placed on one’s appearance and why. Whether we are conscious of it or not, our first impressions are based on a person’s appearance. A lot of this has been said before, and most of you are probably aware of it, but it was good for me to be reminded. 

Whenever I’m getting ready for a date or to go out on the weekend, I put a fair amount of time into the way I look. I think about what my choices are going to say about me to a potential pick-up. Does my outfit show that I’m in touch with what is fashionable? This displays social awareness. Does it flatter my body type and skin tone? This will allow me to be more confident (see above). Is it appropriate to the environment? This shows that I am knowledgeable of different social situations and what is expected in said situations.

Likewise, you should carry that attitude into a networking situation, even into your daily work attire. It is acceptable for me to wear jeans during the work week (not just Fridays), but I want to be taken more seriously, so I began paying more attention to what’s in fashion for work attire and spending more time on my appearance. The result has been that I’m taken more seriously by my coworkers, especially my superiors, and when I have a networking event pop up, I can go on the same day in the clothes I’m already wearing and feel confident that I’m dressed not just appropriately, but fashionably.

Value
There are different types of pick-up artists. Some want sheer quantity and will approach every girl. Some want quality and will set their standards accordingly (only approaching 9’s and above, etc.). This is a decision you have to make with networking, too. Are all contacts good contacts? 

Just like with pick-up, in the beginning I would say approach everyone. It will help you get more comfortable so th
at you do decide to go after that executive in your dream field (the career equivalent of a major hottie), you’ll be comfortable with approaching him or her. Could you imagine walking up to said executive when you don’t have the basics down yet?

Once you reach a certain level of comfort and confidence, you’ll realize that not necessarily all contacts are worth the time and effort to make the connection. If you’re a graphic designer, it might not be too important for you to make a contact with a pipe-fitter. Then again, you never know.

Communication
When a guy approaches a girl in a club, he’s going to lose her interest quickly if he’s not paying attention to her body language, what she’s saying, or how she’s reacting to him. No one wants to listen to someone talk about themselves. Quite the opposite: people like to talk about themselves and they love to have their opinion valued. Some people even expect it. 

When you’re networking, start out by keeping the focus on your contact. Are they interested in what you’re saying? Pay attention to their body language. Are they looking around the room? Are their eyes glazed over? Are you boring them? It’s amazing that I could actually tell someone was bored with what I was saying and I would keep going anyway. It was like watching a train wreck in slow motion. Pick-up taught me that it’s not about me – it’s about the other person and engaging them. Once you have their attention, you can show them your worth instead of telling them.

Relationships
Finally, once you’ve got someone’s attention, you’ve got to close the interaction. What is the end goal? In pick-up this can be a number-close (getting their number), a date-close, a makeout-close, or an f-close. How do close a new business connection? This is a lot easier in networking actually since you’ve got those handy little business cards. However, what comes next? They stick it in their wallet and never contact you. 

You have to decide what kind of relationship you would like out of this person. Do you want a mentor relationship? Do you want a lunch meeting? Do you want to make them a client? Once you’ve determined this, you can move forward. Ask for their card. Differentiate yourself using the factors above – hopefully by this point you’ve shown that you have some value as a contact for them. Follow-up with an e-mail that maintains the rapport you had in your previous contact. Try to use a detail that shows that you were paying attention to them. If, for instance, they mentioned they were a Mac person, you might mention the latest rumor you heard about the new 3G iPhone coming out in June. They have a reason to respond to you now.

Personally, I continue my pick-up research. You never know where you might find great business tips.

In just six months, I have managed to achieve a lot of things in my life, major changes that probably should have taken years to accomplish. Here are just a few: I started a small business that is likely to support me entirely within the next six months, created a blog that is syndicated to two other sites and hit 3,000 unique visitors within two months of founding, lost 20 lbs, reduced my debt and was nominated employee of the month at my company.

A lot of people ask me how I do it; how do I keep up with it all? After all, a full-time job, a part-time job, a company to run and an advice site to publish take up a lot of time and energy.

I will share with you my simple productivity method. I say that it is simple, because it is. However, it is not easy. There is a vast difference. I guarantee that using this method will change your life if employed daily.

Put one foot in front of the other. Take one step at time.

Perhaps I should elaborate. See, first you take a step. If your goal is to start your own business, that step might be to obtain a tax ID as a sole proprietor. If your goal is to lose weight, you switch out your breakfast burrito with an apple and a smoothie. If your goal is to start a website, you purchase the domain and hosting.

Then, you ask yourself, what’s the next step? Then you take it.

You write a business plan. You start running every other day. You sketch ideas for your website homepage.

Rinse. Repeat.

Everyday, you wake up and you ask yourself, what’s the next step? Then you take it.

What’s the catch? There’s no catch. You just have to really want it. There’s no half-ass way to obtain anything worth having. You just wake up and you start doing. You don’t make excuses; you don’t spend a lot of time wondering what the first step is. Don’t worry if you jump into the middle first – you’ll find your way to the beginning quickly.

This is how I started my business, launched my website, became great at my job, got into racing shape, and began dating again. I haven’t done it perfectly, but luckily no one is grading me. And if I had waited to do it perfectly, it wouldn’t have gotten done.

The most important thing is to make sure that your Why is strong enough. Why do you want to start a business, lose weight or start a website? If your reasons are flimsy, your results will be too. If you want to start a business because your buddy is, that’s not a good reason. But if you want to start a business because you believe you have a great product or service the world needs, then that’s something to hold on to. If you want to lose weight because your boyfriend or girlfriend said you were fat, you’ll probably stay the same. But if you want to lose weight because you’ve decided it’s high time you got healthy, then you’ll probably make it.

The reason your Why needs to be strong is because there will be days when your resolve will fail you, when you wake up and say, f*ck the next step, let’s sleep in. You have to keep going, one foot in front of the other.

Some days you may feel like it’s too much, there’s too much to do, too many steps before you get where you want to be. That’s OK. You just have to take one step. Not two, not tomorrow or in a month, but one step today.

One day, you’ll look up and you’ll be amazed at how far you’ve come. One step at a time.

It’s not really news to anybody that I’m not exactly passionate about my 8-5 job. The work I do is highly analytical, data-oriented and involves me starting at a computer screen for 8 hours a day. When people ask me what I do at my job, their eyes generally glaze over when I get about 15 seconds into it. That’s about how long it takes before my eyes glaze over when I open up a new set of data I’m about to work with. I am not, however, excused from excelling at my job.

I believe that if you ask my coworkers, my boss, and the associates who rely on my work on a daily basis how I am doing, they will probably tell you that I’m a data whiz kid, an Excel genius, a PowerPoint guru. OK, maybe that’s taking it too far, but for the most part, they’ll tell you I rock my job. Because I do.

Let me repeat – I don’t love my job. As a matter of fact, about twice a week I skulk off to the online department and chat with the guys over there about what’s new in the online world. I wonder, sometimes out loud, when another position will be budgeted especially for me. Then I go back to my desk and finish my work.

Sound boring? It is.

Maybe this sounds really bleak to you, really dismal and boring and you say to yourself, “I could never do that.” Well, remember that I do have a passion – my own business that I am growing after hours.

It’s also really exciting to hear the president of your company decide that you are the only person necessary at a conference call who is not a manager or vice-president. It’s nice to hear you described to a new manager as an integral part of such-and-such process. It’s gratifying to hear that you were impressive in that strategic planning meeting.

It could be tempting given the recent success my own business is having, to not give a crap about my current job. Here’s the thing: I don’t want to be known as a crappy worker. I don’t want to put mediocre work out into the world. I also respect that the people I work with are counting on me to support them the best that I can. They are passionate about their jobs and they are counting on it to provide for them.

In a word, what I am talking about it responsibility. I may not be passionate about my 8-5 job, but I am passionate about being a quality employee and coworker. To buck Gen Y stereotypes, I guess you might say I am passionate about responsibility.

If that’s not good enough for you, then remember that everyone you come in contact with at your current job is a contact. Your reputation as a solid worker is at stake.

I never thought I’d run an IT company in a million years. It was further from my mind as a career option than pursuing medicine or flying airplanes. OK, maybe not airplanes. At any rate, my little IT consultancy began by chance.

Over the past four years or so I have been involved in the Internet in some way or other. My first position out of college was as an administrative assistant for a start-up magazine. I was quickly promoted to editorial assistant to associate editor, and when I left I was the director of new media, which basically means I was running anything and everything to do with our website. I loved it. I dove in headlong. Somehow or other, I’ve become a go-to person for all things computer-related at my workplaces. For some reason, computers, programs, etc. have just always made sense to me.

It seems like the Internet, computers and web design was the perfect area for me. It is always changing, rarely boring and there’s always something new to learn. I love that it’s fast-paced and that I can find a bunch of nerds like me, much nerdier than me, to clue me into what’s up-and-coming and how to do things I don’t know how to do yet.

So, when a friend asked if I she could hire me to replace a computer guy that wasn’t really working out, I agreed enthusiastically. As I worked with her to teach her some basic computer skills, showed her around the Internet and advised her on purchases, I realized how many other people were in her situation, especially women, especially older women. Thus, a business was born.

As my company grew (and continues to grow) rapidly, I realized that without some direction, it could grow in ways I don’t want it to. I have begun to acquire new business and with that I am beginning to contract parts of that work out. While I’m still kind of far away from hiring employees in my mind, who knows what might happen? What happens if things take off and I don’t have a plan in place to direct growth? My greatest fear is that five years will go by, and I’ll be working 80 hours a week because I didn’t have a plan in place for working my way out of my business. After all, the point is to work on a business, not in it.

So here’s what I did. I took a page from E-Myth Revisited by Michael Gerber and set up what he calls an Organizational Strategy. This is a little different from job descriptions and workflow. These are the positions that need to be filled for the business that I will be filling until I hire people to fill them. As I hire and train people into the positions, I will stair step my way up and out of the company altogether eventually. This is an exit strategy. For my particular company, the structure looks like this:

I’m already contracting work to a designer/programmer on an as-needed basis. The technician position will be critical to growing the private client side of the business, and will be the next one I begin contracting out.

It’s important that I point out there that I am working in all of these positions currently. This way I know what it takes to fill them, all of the little intricacies involved in the positions, and I will be better able to train the people who fill them when that time comes. Gerber has a lot to say about exactly how to do this, and as I feel my way through this in the coming weeks, I’m sure I’ll be writing about it a lot.

Growth should never be a problem and exponential growth should always be expected. Don’t let your company stay an accident – make a plan now for when that growth does happen so that you won’t be scrambling to throw something together while also trying to handle all of your new business. You’ll have your hands full enough. Trust me.

An article caught my eye earlier this week on MSN about the (apparent) amplitude of single, successful women who (gasp) may never find a man.

The article sites the following as the major obstacles these women are facing:
1. They want someone as successful as they are
2. Little time leftover for dating after work and other priorities

But there is one that stands out as the bigger issue:
3. They simply intimidate their male counterparts

I recently had a conversation with Guy I’ve Been Seeing about this very thing. I’m not exactly your prototypical hard-as-nails businesswoman. I don’t think they’ve existed since the ‘80s and the days of mandatory hosiery in the office, so let’s just kill that stereotype now. I am, however, very driven and motivated, like so many of my fellow successful Gen Y females.

Since high school, my intelligence and my inability to hide behind a pretty, artificially dumbed-down exterior has gotten in the way of my love life. I began to notice the trend in college, when one of my friends pointed out to me that guys were probably just intimidated by me. Me? I asked. I’m 5’ 3”, a buck-nothing. How is that intimidating? A boyfriend confirmed the theory. “You’ve always intimidated me,” he said. “You’re smart, but in a business way that I’m not.”

GIBS couldn’t believe this. “You? Intimidating? How?” he said. I explained to him about how most guys (I’m speaking from experience now) would rather have someone who is a little less complicated, a little easier, with a little more time on their hands… in essence, they would rather be the alpha. I don’t work well with that. I don’t like being the alpha either, though.

That’s where the real problems start to happen. It’s a difficult balance to find – a guy that challenges you would have to be at your level in some sense, pursuing his own goals, career, and success, who is also supportive of your success, and who is looking for that type of woman. Not to mention all the other little stuff people like in relationships, like compatibility, shared values and common interests, etc.

That’s not to say I haven’t had boyfriends. Up until the past year, I was in a string of long-term relationships since high school. The problem was that the guys I ended up with simply didn’t have the cojones to challenge me the way I needed to be back then. I’ve finally learned how to challenge myself, but I think I’d still like someone who is working on achieving his own big dreams and goals.

So, now here I am at 26, single for the first time since college and I’m being given a fairly bleak outlook. The more successful I become, the harder it’s going to be to connect.

But see, I don’t think these women are sitting around at home, crying into their Chardonnay about it. I think the article totally misses the point. These women aren’t willing to settle for anything less than what they want because the lesson their success has taught them is that they can achieve great things in spite of the odds. They are Whole People who aren’t okay with accepting anything less than another Whole Person.

Speaking for myself, I have accepted the idea that I could possibly never be married. Some people might say that this is a self-fulfilling prophecy. I don’t think it is. Fifty percent of all marriages in divorce, remember? A very small fraction of married folk believe their marriage could in divorce. Who’s fooling whom here? If I can be okay with being single for potentially the rest of my life, then I am not going to wait around to do things. I’m going to charge full force. And somewhere out there, there is a guy who thinks that’s hot. He’s the guy for me.

I recently read (or actually listened to) “The Four-Hour Work Week,” which is pretty much about how you need very little time to complete your work if you use the author’s productivity methods and outsourcing. Fascinating. Doable, I thought. So, I started trying out some of the methods at my current 8-5 gig. Let me just let you in on a few of the blunders I committed and obstacles I ran into that I didn’t hear anything about in the book.

Auto-Reply Blunders
The first thing I did was institute the auto-reply method. I won’t go into it here, but I did blog about it last week. I made a blanket auto-reply message that bounced back to anybody (and everybody it turned out) who e-mailed me. Including my boss. Including his boss.

It worked like a charm until I realized that I had gotten an e-mail from my boss’s boss. Now, this would normally be a good thing. This means that my role is important enough to be receiving requests directly from the Big Man. The bad thing is that he immediately told my boss that I needed to remove the auto-reply.

“Corporate sees that, too,” my boss reminded me. “Besides,” he continued. “You should be answering e-mails as often as possible.”

Auto-reply killed. I still have the dinging alert and pop-up window turned off so that if I’m deep into a project so a forward of cute kittens and puppies won’t distract me from the task at hand.

Punching the Clock – Literally
OK, this was my bad. I had a hard time getting back on my sleep schedule after being on hiatus from what will be henceforth known as Two Weeks of Hell. I came in late twice last week (30 minutes late), prompting my boss to remind me that my hours are 8-5 and that’s important because I’m the only one in from 8-9 am.

“It’s not that big a deal,” Boss says. “Besides, next year we’ll probably be moving to a clock-in, clock-out system anyway.” Say what?!

Apparently, I’m not the only person appalled at the idea of having to physically clock in. A recent article described the rise of fingerprint clock systems as “creepy” and intrusive. Aside from being amazed at the level to which corporate America will stoop in its pointlessness, this throws a major wrench in my plans to work towards a remote working environment in my current job. What will be the point if once achieved a few months later I am forced to be present for clocking in?

This is presenteeism at it’s worst in my opinion. Perhaps I’m merely a product of my generation, but I don’t understand why my presence is necessary when I spend the whole day in front of the computer, interacting with no one outside of e-mail and the very occasional phone call.

Never one to admit defeat, however, I am prepared to regroup and figure out a work-around. Unfortunately, if these things are true at my present job, then it may be that my work-around is a new source of income. Which was sort of the point anyways. I wanted to pick the easier way, but it doesn’t look like it’s viable. In all fairness, Ferriss (author, “Four-Hour Work Week”) did say it was better to lose the corporate gig altogether, but hey, sometimes we have to leave our claw marks in what’s comfortable before we’ll give it up.