I’ve been a bookworm all my life. If you ask my mom, she’ll tell you it’s the result of her reading books to me in utero. My older sister taught me to read when I was 4 years old, and before that I would memorize the books as they were read to me and recite them, pretending to read. My mom and I read Edgar Allen Poe collections every night before bed when I was 8, and my dad got me into Ray Bradbury at the ripe old age of 9. I had a voracious reading appetite. I would read anything I could get my hands on.

I don’t remember any Barnes & Nobles or Borders when I was a kid. Even if they’d been around our town, I don’t think we would have gone there. We grew up pretty poor, and my parents had to be resourceful with what we did have. With a kid who burned through books faster than most kids change television channels, even the used bookstores were pricey.

Enter the public library.

Now, somehow I forgot about the library. I love books, clearly. I love the covers, I love the words, I even love the way used books smell (they’ve got personality; they’ve traveled). My dad used to get mad when I left my books on the ground or got them wet in the bathtub – “You should respect your books, Holly,” he would say.

Once I’ve read a book, I want to hang onto it. It’s part of the family. I lugged my books with me all the way to college, then from Orlando to south Texas, and packed and unpacked them at – count ‘em – yep, six apartments in the past four years. Everything from Jane Austen to existentialist philosophy, Henry VIII biographies to Gabriel Garcia Marquez fill my shelves, my nightstand, the floors. I even love listening to books in the car.

It’s not like times haven’t been tough before. Sure, I could say it’s the rising price of gas or the fear of a soft job economy that led me to think of the public library today. Honestly, I can’t remember how I thought of it. But I called my friend Mel and asked if she was willing to go on a little adventure this afternoon. Off we went to La Retama Central Library.

Thus, I became a card-carrying member of the Corpus Christi public library system today. I checked out two audiobooks and two paperbacks. The Barnes & Noble price would’ve been $67.88 before taxes. My public library price: $0.00. 

Needless to say, I was thrilled walking through the aisles of my new lending library this afternoon. I greeted familiar titles like they were old friends, and felt downright triumphant when I found books I’d wanted to read for ages, but didn’t fit into my budget.

Nothing’s been so easy as getting my library card. I simply filled out a half-page form and showed my ID. It took less than five minutes and I was on my way, clutching my new treasures. I don’t even have to return them to the same library – I can take them to whichever one I want when I’m done. If I need longer at the end of two weeks, I can go online to renew them.

Tough economic times, whether they are caused by a recession or an entry-level salary, can either keep us from continuing our lives, or we can get resourceful, much like my parents did. I have a theory that the most creativity comes when we have limitations or obstacles to overcome. What are your creative solutions to maintaining your simple pleasures? Have you been to your public library lately?

In an earlier post, I announced that I would begin a new accountability regime: posting my goals and my progress toward them to this blog once a month. Several of you, both readers and fellow bloggers, expressed interest in doing the same. I’m inviting everyone to participate who would like to post something similar on their blogs. Email me your blog entries and I’ll post them links to them here as well.

Without any further ado, I give you my first Hold Me Accountable post.

Physical
This is probably the area where I’ve lost the most steam as of late. It is also the one that I would like to get back on track with the most. When I treat my body well, it treats me well. Everything else runs so much more smoothly in my life when I feel good physically. There are three components to my physical goals: exercise, diet and overall health.

Exercise
I took up running in late December last year. I put running down around the beginning of May. I had been training for a relay marathon and once it was over, so was the training. I need a goal in order to stay motivated in my running, even though I love it. I know I’m going to feel good after a run (phenomenal, actually), but the motivation I need is when I really don’t feel like waking up early and lacing up my shoes. So, I’m going to sign up for a half-marathon. I’m confident I can do it if I start training now. I’ll do short runs on Mondays, hard runs on Wednesdays, cross-train on Saturdays and long runs on Sundays.
Goals: Sign up for half-marathon in October; beginning training schedule.

Diet
I don’t mean diet in the sense that I’m trying to lose weight. I’m not. I simply want to give my body good fuel, not crap. The main threat to my diet is the vending machines at work. If I forget (or am too lazy) to make my lunch, I’m known to eat a lunch of chips and soda. Blech. I’ve already begun to make dinner at night and bring leftovers to work. Note: This helps financial goals as well – double-plus bonus! I’m also really bad about keeping my refrigerator at home stocked. When it’s full, not only do I eat better and save money on eating out, but it gives me an odd sense of fulfillment. Hmm.
Goals: Cut out soda, vending machine snacks; bring healthy lunches and snacks to work; keep home fridge stocked.

Health
You’ve heard me complain about my sinus infections ad nauseum, I know. I bought a neti pot (for nasal irrigation) because I heard from many, many sources that it works wonders. I’ve been too chicken to try it, even though I feel confident it will help. I’ve been battling some serious fatigue, probably due to sinus infections and not exercising, which is added incentive for the workout routine. Finally, it’s been about 3 years (!) since I’ve been to the dentist. Yikes.
Goals: Use neti pot three times a week for one month; see dentist.

Relationships
My biggest issue with my relationships right now is that I’m spending an awful lot of time with a certain someone instead of spending some time with myself, my friends and my family. This was fine and well in the budding stages of the relationship, but now that things have settled down a bit I desperately need to hook back up with my friends and fam.
Goals: Hang out with my three best friends for some serious QT at least once this month; visit my aunt and my grandmother.

Career
For now, thing seem to be going really well with my 8-5 job. I’m relatively focused and my recent annual performance evaluation was stellar (including a raise!). Guess where nothing is happening? That’s right – my business. uSavvy, my IT consultancy, has one client, no actual tax ID number, nothing, plus a website that’s just sitting there, all designed and hosted and not actually up. Include my blog in here, and I haven’t been posting as regularly as I would like, which is about 3-4 times per week.
Goals: Obtain tax ID number and sole proprietor status; open bank account; finish site buildout and get online; buy business cards; write business plan; blog 3-4 times per week.

Financial
I have two areas I’m currently working on financially. I’ve got terrible credit (hey, I drank heavily during those pivotal post-college years), and practically no savings… OK, no savings if you aren’t counting that $50 in my ING Orange savings account. I started the ball rolling on this one yesterday though. My pay increase will show up in my next paycheck and instead of rejoicing at the extra money, I already set up an autodraft for the increase amount to pay down my credit card. I also have an autodraft set up for a student loan I am rehabilitating, as well as one for $50 per paycheck to my savings account. Once the credit card is paid down, I will up my savings autodraft to include the amount from the pay increase. The problem with my savings account is that I almost always tap into it. I’m a little more solid financially right now, so my goal is not to do that.
Goals: Pay off credit card in 2.5 months; continue savings without touching it.

Spirituality
I don’t talk about my spirituality very much on this blog, even though it’s a big part of my life. The truth is that I’ve been a little disappointed in my spirituality lately… or my lack thereof. I’m not a churchgoer, that’s just not for me. However, I do pray and meditate. I include my sobriety as part of this picture because the way I stay sober is to work a spiritual program. I go to three or four 12-step meetings every week, but I’d like to start branching out a little more into more groups besides my home group, particularly to this one young people’s group. I’d also like to try to meditate in the mornings, even if it’s just for a short time period.
Goals: Attend one non-home group 12-step meeting per week; meditate twice a week.

General
Finally, this part relates to my overall life goals, mood and emotions. I’d say lately I’ve been in a funk. Definitely in a funk. It’s not enough for me to focus on my short-term goals, so I need to keep my long-term goals on the burners, too. I really would like to move to a larger city. I would like to either advance to the next level of my career in research or I would like to take my business full-time. I would like to be a less selfish person on a day-to-day basis. The other day I realized at the end of the day that I was the only person I had thought about all day. That sucks. And I’m guessing that it probably also makes me a pretty obnoxious person to deal with.
Goal
s: Mostly just to keep my larger life goals top-of-mind; try to think of other people and how I affect them throughout my day.

I will keep you all up-to-date with my progress on a monthly basis, at the very least. I hope that some of you will jump in and participate. It would be really great to have a community of people who are all holding each other accountable, encouraging one another and learning what works and what doesn’t in real time, wouldn’t it?

Related articles:
Got goals? Hold yourself accountable
How baby steps became a huge deal
Stand up and be accounted
How I change my habits

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I’m having a little accountability issue. As in, I have none. I have a lot of goals, not just in my career, but also in my personal life, my finances and my health. As I’ve struggled to regain my footing after falling in love, I’ve come to find my real issue is now that I simply lack the motivation to accomplish on a day-to-day basis, and that daily action is critical to the fulfillment of larger goals.

I know one thing to be true when it comes to setting goals and achieving them: the most surefire method is to chip away at it one step at a time. Daily action is necessary. If you want to train to run a marathon, you’ve got to actually put your shoes on and go for a run. If you want to pay off your credit cards, you cannot charge anything to them today. I prefer to live one day at a time this way. When I start to use the word “tomorrow,” I get myself into a world of trouble. I won’t accomplish much with “I’ll run tomorrow” or “I’ll stop using my credit card tomorrow.” This method of goal procrastination will leave you stranded. You just need to start.

Enter accountability. Now that you’ve decided to go through with the daily action method you could use a little reinforcement. I used to get this through Guy I Was Seeing. Though we’re still friends, I don’t get to talk to him as much as I used to. Read more about what an accountability partner can do for you here.

What happens if you can’t find an accountability partner or group? Or if you’re the only one who ever does anything in said partnership/group? I’m not sure, but I’m taking a stab with my blog. Yep, you guys are now my accountability partners. I find it hard to make excuses to you all… mostly because my lame excuses look really bad in print. That, and I’ve sworn to be as honest and as transparent as possible.

I know I won’t meet all of my goals 100 percent of the time, but the nice thing about accountability partners is not the negative pressure – it’s the positive pressure. It’s reassuring to think you guys know what my goals are, what I’m doing to get there, and that you get to see the results when I do what I say and when I don’t. It might be corny and a little arrogant, but for some reason I have the feeling that you guys have my back.

All mushiness aside, my monthly accountability posts will basically have a “where I’m at” theme. I’ll review my goals, what I’ve done, what I haven’t done and what I plan to do. The areas in which I will be accountable are broad: physical (exercise, health, diet), relationships (family, significant other, friends), career (job, entrepreneurship), financial (credit, savings), spirituality (meditation, sobriety), general (emotion, mood, life goals).

I realize that not everyone wants to read about me, me, me, but my hope is that my transparency in these things will allow people to see what really works… and what really doesn’t. I’ll be posting the first one tomorrow.

How do you stay accountable? How do you reach your goals, little and big?

I’m not happy with my personal style lately. It’s sort of been ongoing since I got sober and lost some weight… and you know, stopped spending all my money on booze. I’ve told myself that part of the problem is that I don’t have a lot of money to spend on new clothes, but I think there’s a little more to it than that. I would say the real problem is that I don’t give it much thought until I’m actually in a store, ready to buy some item that I need. Seeing as I give almost everything in my life too much thought, I thought that was a little ironic.

Whether we like it or not, we’re judged at a moment’s glance by our outward image. And as much as the BF hems and haws about appearances not mattering, he plays by the rules and wears a suit to the office every day, even Fridays. In our careers, in dating, we’re judged first by our appearance and our clothing does a lot of the talking. (I wasn’t sure if I was attracted to Date #4 when we met – he was wearing a suit and I always say that it blocked any read I was trying to get from him.)

I’ve been watching the preliminary back-to-school ads roll in, and it amazes me how much time and thought middle and high school kids put into their clothing choices. Their clothes (in their minds) say so much about them – what group they belong to, what kind of music they listen to, what their socioeconomic status is, how in tune they are with trends, which causes they support (if any). Why this is, is an entirely different subject that I don’t wish to touch on here. What it did, though, was prompt me to look at my style choices and think about what they said about me.

That’s when I realized that my style choices weren’t really so much choices as they were lazy acquiesces. I live in a town with few clothing options, but I’m not sure I would be much better off anywhere else.

I love:
Blazers
3/4-sleeve jackets
Cardigans
Dark jeans
Vintage-y blouses
‘40s inspired dresses, shoes, hair… well, anything really
Splashes of bright color
Scarves
Preppy-style flats
Colorful, vintage heels
Long dresses

How much of this do I own? Er… none. I do have a few cardigans, but they’re pretty much a necessity in my 60-degree office. Oh, and I own about 7 pairs of dark jeans, but all in the same style and cut from the same store. Even I know that’s wrong.

Looking at this list, I can see that this is actually how I used to dress in high school. My mom hated taking me shopping – I never saw anything I liked unless we were at a Goodwill. Luckily, times have changed and Anthropologie picked up what I was throwing down. Anyhow, I did think that it said something about me. Like today’s teenagers, I was keenly aware of the message I was trying to send. I was eclectic, creative, a little hip, a little bohemian, a non-conformist, an intellectual.

How many of us can say we put that much thought into our wardrobe post-high school or college? I grab whatever Express is offering that month in the way of office-appropriate attire within my budget and that’s about it. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a personal style again?

It’s not just about sending an arbitrary message about who I think I am. After all, if you’re worthwhile and think I’m worthwhile, we’ll get to know each other and you’ll figure out who I am. When my outer self matches my inner self, who it is that I am, I’m a lot happier. Plain and simple, if I actually enjoy the clothes I’m wearing, then I’m a lot happier overall. I also feel a lot more at home in social situations. I feel more comfortable projecting who I am when I’m not tugging on uncomfortable clothes that don’t fit right. And, of course, I wouldn’t mind standing out from the crowd a little.

In an age when personal branding seems to be all the rage, why are we sticking ourselves in the same suits and brands as everyone else? Why aren’t we spending more time thinking about how our “look” corresponds to our personal brand, our goals, and where we want to go?

Some questions to ask yourself about your personal style:
• How would I like people to see me? Use descriptive adjectives: polished, bohemian, put-together, artsy, sleek, glamorous, etc.
• How would I describe myself in a few words? Are you a corporate go-getter, an intellectual, a tech geek, a trendsetter, outdoorsy, creative?
• What styles do I identify with? What words describe them? Do those words describe me?
• What are some items I really like? Do I currently have them in my collection?
• How do my clothing choices affect me on a daily basis? Am I happier when I wear certain colors? Certain styles?

Me, personally, I’m going to start holding out for items that fit with my now clearly defined personal style. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to rethink those 7 pairs of jeans…

All images from Anthropologie.com.

There’s something about magazines like Real Simple and TV shows like House Hunters that depresses me. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but every time I attempt a sit on the couch post-work I am irritated by things like Everybody Loves Raymond. There’s a part of me that is suspicious that these forms of entertainment have been created to make us believe that not only are you content with your life, but you are enthusiastic about it, a subtle (or not-so-subtle, in my opinion) brainwashing of home-improving, toddler-yogaing, exasperated-but-happy-at-the-end-of-the-day, we’re-the-same-kind-of-unique status quo. Welcome to the new yuppiedom.

Maybe I’m just feeling particularly fed up with the new American dream this evening, as I sit in my underwear, toenails unpainted and unmanicured, eating Oreos with orange juice, wondering why I’m throwing 5 months of perfectly good conditioning down the drain. Maybe it’s that I’ve recently fallen in love and have caught myself twice already daydreaming into that magical land I call Not A Chance in Hell.

That place involves a relationship that can survive my apparent two-year statute of limitations with a guy who looks like a J. Crew model, a baby as cute and happy as the one that couple at the café has that will magically disappear when it needs to be fed/changed/burped or cries inexplicably, a house that requires little-to-no maintenance which of course we obtained at a steal, a thriving business that I built and doesn’t require me to be around all the time, and a Holly who does not feel overwhelming pinned-down and caged by it all.

Puh-shaw.

That’s when I turn off the TV. And call Real Simple to remind them, once again, that I unsubscribed two months ago. I fight off the sneaking suspicion that somehow, somewhere my father has bribed a Starbucks barista to spike my lattes with hormones. I have been told repeatedly that one day I will want all of these things. When I get a case of the I-just-want-to-be-upper-middle-class blues, I daydream another life.

In this life I usually am married, or in a long-term committed relationship. Yes, I am happy and content being single, but like many, I would like to have a companion through life. I think a character in Shall We Dance? sums it up best when she says people get married so that in a world of billions, one person says they will be the witness to your life. I agree with this. 

At any rate, 90 percent of me says no to kids. This is mostly a financial decision in my mind. Yes, I know you can be financially well off and have kids also, but the majority of folks are not. Here are a few examples of childless couples who are financially better off than their peers (especially where it comes to retirement). And here’s an entire online community dedicated to couples who have chosen not to have kids for a variety of reasons. I take comfort knowing that I’m not the only one out there like me.

Mostly, though, this daydream life is about being able to do the things I am passionate about without any compromises or guilt feelings, such as diving tirelessly into my own businesses, having a partner who I still find sexually appealing, coming nowhere close to any variety of poop/snot/vomit, and traveling at will and on whim.

In just six months, I have managed to achieve a lot of things in my life, major changes that probably should have taken years to accomplish. Here are just a few: I started a small business that is likely to support me entirely within the next six months, created a blog that is syndicated to two other sites and hit 3,000 unique visitors within two months of founding, lost 20 lbs, reduced my debt and was nominated employee of the month at my company.

A lot of people ask me how I do it; how do I keep up with it all? After all, a full-time job, a part-time job, a company to run and an advice site to publish take up a lot of time and energy.

I will share with you my simple productivity method. I say that it is simple, because it is. However, it is not easy. There is a vast difference. I guarantee that using this method will change your life if employed daily.

Put one foot in front of the other. Take one step at time.

Perhaps I should elaborate. See, first you take a step. If your goal is to start your own business, that step might be to obtain a tax ID as a sole proprietor. If your goal is to lose weight, you switch out your breakfast burrito with an apple and a smoothie. If your goal is to start a website, you purchase the domain and hosting.

Then, you ask yourself, what’s the next step? Then you take it.

You write a business plan. You start running every other day. You sketch ideas for your website homepage.

Rinse. Repeat.

Everyday, you wake up and you ask yourself, what’s the next step? Then you take it.

What’s the catch? There’s no catch. You just have to really want it. There’s no half-ass way to obtain anything worth having. You just wake up and you start doing. You don’t make excuses; you don’t spend a lot of time wondering what the first step is. Don’t worry if you jump into the middle first – you’ll find your way to the beginning quickly.

This is how I started my business, launched my website, became great at my job, got into racing shape, and began dating again. I haven’t done it perfectly, but luckily no one is grading me. And if I had waited to do it perfectly, it wouldn’t have gotten done.

The most important thing is to make sure that your Why is strong enough. Why do you want to start a business, lose weight or start a website? If your reasons are flimsy, your results will be too. If you want to start a business because your buddy is, that’s not a good reason. But if you want to start a business because you believe you have a great product or service the world needs, then that’s something to hold on to. If you want to lose weight because your boyfriend or girlfriend said you were fat, you’ll probably stay the same. But if you want to lose weight because you’ve decided it’s high time you got healthy, then you’ll probably make it.

The reason your Why needs to be strong is because there will be days when your resolve will fail you, when you wake up and say, f*ck the next step, let’s sleep in. You have to keep going, one foot in front of the other.

Some days you may feel like it’s too much, there’s too much to do, too many steps before you get where you want to be. That’s OK. You just have to take one step. Not two, not tomorrow or in a month, but one step today.

One day, you’ll look up and you’ll be amazed at how far you’ve come. One step at a time.

There has been some major backsliding going on in my life the past three or four weeks. Let’s just say some slacking has occurred… it’s like cancer. It started in one area of my life and spread quickly to the others. Part of this can be blamed on tragedy and illness, but that crutch has gotten old. It’s time to throw out the excuses and get things back on track now.

Sleep
I used to be the Queen of Good Rest. I always slept well and for the optimal time. I guarded my sleep schedule like it was Fort Knox. I defended it and nurtured it. It’s as if I’ve spent the past month beating the shit out of it and calling it a Bad Kid. It hates me now and acts like an angry toddler. When I do give myself the time to get a good night’s rest, I have problems either falling asleep or staying asleep. When I wake up, I don’t feel refreshed. I feel more tired. Last night I slept for 9 hours to make up for the 5 ½ hour sleep cycles I’ve been doing. I feel less awake. People even say I look tired. I need to get back on a schedule. I’m sure it has to do with the fact that it’s been erratic.

Diet
I’ve lost three more pounds. Most women would be excited by this. I am not. This has nothing to do with healthy weight loss – I’m not eating right. And I’m running distance. As a distance runner, weight loss is your enemy (after a certain point anyways). I am usually vigilant about my diet – 6 or 7 small, regimented meals per day. I make sure I eat enough protein, iron, dairy and good carbs. Lately, I’ve been skipping meals, not really eating anything healthy, etc. I can feel how awful it is for me. Eating well takes time. You need to get to the grocery regularly for fresh produce and plan your meals ahead if you have a jam-packed day like I do.

Running/exercise
I run four days a week like it’s my religion. Since everything happened last month, I have seriously slacked. It’s Thursday and I haven’t run at all this week. Now, this is serious business. I have a 5K and a relay marathon to run in May. I’m not where I need to be. Aside from that, running is my release. I feel energized and empowered when I’m done with a good run. I particularly enjoy the time I spend outside doing it. It’s relaxing. Skimping on this area of my life does exponential harm to me; it kills my relaxation and my health.

Budget
Ugh. To be fair, I’ve lost 18 pounds since I got sober. The first five came off right away (I was a beer drinker – muy fattening). The rest I lost in the past 5 months or so through the combination of a healthy diet and running. So, I’m down a few sizes in almost everything, especially work clothes. That’s where I’m blowing my money. I’m close to overdrafting my bank account, and that is a place I really hate to be.

General cleanliness
Please step away from the apartment, miss. Really, things are pretty messy on the home front. I’m never in my apartment and since I am moving next weekend, I decided not to worry about doing much until then. Really, all I’ve done is create more work for myself when I start packing. The car is in pretty bad shape too – a cleaning inside and out is definitely in order.

Tardiness
Running around at break-neck speed has caused me to forget just about everything. (Hello? I brought my running clothes, but left my sneakers. Is anyone home?) I am sleeping as late as I can, and thus making it to work perpetually 15 minutes late, which causes me to leave 15 minutes late, throwing my entire schedule into chaos. That does not look good to the boss either. And, let’s face it, tardiness is tacky.

The Solution
The best people in my life always tell me to get out of the problem and into the solution. Having defined the problem, I know how to tackle it. One of my major problems has been budgeting time for preparation. Most of the things above can be eliminated if I will simply slow down and take the time to prepare for them.

I need to prepare my food for the next day. I need to get my bag of running gear together the night before. I have to take the time to sit down with monthly bills twice a month and look at how much I can afford to spend on clothes, etc. I need to spend just 10 little minutes cleaning up when I get home instead of falling onto the couch with the laptop for an hour. And finally, I need to guard my sleep schedule like it was the Most Precious and Dear Thing on the Earth again.

I am an Early Adopter caught in the salary of an entry level worker. It is an unfortunate state of affairs when you – who subscribes to TechCrunch, an avid reader of Robert Scoble and Guy Kawasaki, the only person you know with a feed aggregator, the only one in her town who seems to know that mobile Web is the new black – must idly watch lesser (informed) men purchase and make scanty use of technology.

It is a sad state indeed. However, I’m not one to sit around and feel sorry for herself. As Jay-Z says, I’m like water. Throw up a blockade and I’ll find a way around it. I have a method for determining which things, whether they are little- or big-ticket items, can or should be purchased.

The List(s)
Now, this is not a glamorous thing, to be sure, but I’m a realist. A comforter that costs 200 dollars has to be saved up for, just like an iPhone, on my budget. Thus, it must be determined how badly I want that comforter or duvet or whatever, and what priority it falls into. After all, we’re working with a limited amount of cash here.

Here’s how it works. I keep a list in my planner, the one thing I’m certain to look at repeatedly throughout the day. At the top it says “Things Holly Wants.” Right now, it looks like this:

King-size comforter: $100
iPod set for car: $25
Tea kettle: $20
Running shoes: $85-100
Domain & hosting: $60
Running shorts: $30
Desk: $150-250
SIGG water bottle: $25

These are fairly practical items for the most part. As I purchase them or concede that I don’t really need or want them and that the desire for an espresso grinder was misguided, then I strike them out. Some of them are smaller ticket items, and the reason I put these on here is not so I can save for them (I’m not that bad off), but so that I don’t blow 20-30 dollars here and there on crap I don’t need or won’t use (I’m not that well off).

Now, for major technology-related purchase, I keep a list called “Things Holly Would Really Like.” It looks like this:

MacBook Pro
iPhone (V2 out in June)
Wireless keyboard/mouse
Dual monitors
Adobe Creative Suite
iPod portable speakers/docking station

Note that nothing on that list is crossed out. Yeah. I’ve had that list for about three months now. It’s going to take some time to save up for those items. Also, with purchases of that size and nature, the exact specs change with the more research I do on them. I also have a terrible case of Tech Lust, so it’s good for me to see these things written on paper so that I can be a little more practical about it.

Buyer Be Wary
I recently read on Ben Overmyer’s blog that he was feeling some peer pressure to purchase an iPod Touch, which he pretty much says he doesn’t need and won’t use. Don’t let your friends pressure you into buying something that they need or want. What’s good for one person is a waste of money for another. I consult with clients for my IT business on electronic purchases and often stair-step them up to what they think they want. For example, one client wants an iPod, but doesn’t use iTunes or have music on her computer. First things first, let’s get you where you can use it. I wanted a MacBook Air until I saw what Guy Kawasaki had to do to his. It’s just not meant for people like me.

The key concept here is that you first determine what you need, what you need it for, and how high a priority it is for you first. Then make your purchase. So often we see something and buy it, then try to justify after the fact. That’s shoddy logic and a waste of your hard-earned money.

I recently acquired a second job in addition to my regular 8-5 corporate job. It was meant to accomplish two things: 1. Give me practical experience in the field in which I aim to start a business one day, and 2. Give me a little extra income to put toward savings for a house and investments.

I thought long and hard before deciding to take on a second job. Would I be able to handle the hours out of my social life and other entrepreneurial ventures? What toll would it take on my primary job/career? Were my reasons solid enough to keep me interested and motivated when I got tired and missed the beach?

It’s important to understand that my second job was not driven by the second reason – additional income. In “Rich Woman,” Kim Kiyosaki talks about finding your Why, the thing that is going to keep you going when you want to give up, when you want to be a ‘normal’ person instead of spending all of your free time like some kind of freak who has two jobs and two companies to run. Ahem…

My Why in this case is establishing my own coffee bar. I never imagined I could ever do anything so bold as owning my own café, but one fateful encounter brought me to the realization that given the right Why, I am capable of almost anything. And while I feel that my Why is a very strong one, I found myself burnt out and near tears at the end of my second weekend of my new job, screaming in my head that today will be the last day I work here.

Luckily for me, one of the other cafés I had applied to at the same time as Job A called me for an interview. I rushed from the end of my shift to the interview. This new place was heaven. It was exactly what I had wanted in the other job but wasn’t getting. The owner sat in on the interview and got excited as I answered the “What is your defining characteristic or passion?” question promptly and firmly: “Entrepreneurship.”

This was the ideal situation. The owners were starting this shop from scratch after they dreamed about it for a year or two. They were excited to take me under their wings and show me what they did and were doing. The shop also hadn’t opened yet, so I got to see everything from the ground up. I have been trained on all elements of the business, whereas the other job had me working only in one area, and it had nothing to do with coffee. Bonus: They were completely understanding and sensitive to me having a full-time job and the need to have a weekend day off (I could only work 7-hour shifts every weekend day at the other café).

Establish your Why
It is crucial that you have a rock-solid Why before you go into a second job. Ask yourself what you want to accomplish with your new job. Are you trying to gain experience to add to your resume or for a future endeavor? Are you working for additional income? If so, establish a really great Why for how you intend to use the money you make from it. Your free time is worth a lot, and most part-time jobs aren’t going to pay a lot. There has to be a bigger pay-off besides money. If you are saving for a new home or for an investment, then establish this as your Why.

Use your Why when the going gets tough
Even with the new, totally amazing job that I love, love, love, I still get tired. When it’s Saturday midnight and I’m finishing my shift for the second night in a row, I think about my girlfriends and how they are probably out dancing after a day at the beach. As I start down that slippery slope I close my eyes and conjure up images of my own future café. I picture my employees, my couches, me chatting up the regulars. I throw in the added bonus of imagining leaving my café and going home to that house I’m saving up for from the additional income. Once I’m home and in bed, I know I wouldn’t be happy doing it any other way.

Define what you want from your second job
What days and hours do you want to work? Exactly what functions would you like to be serving and what role would you like to be in? Define the ideal situation before you go into it so that you can gauge whether or not the position is going to benefit you. The problem I had with Job A wasn’t that my Why wasn’t strong enough; the problem was that the hours didn’t work for me and I wasn’t learning anything beneficial for my end goal. When I saw Job B, I knew right away it was what I wanted. I didn’t need the first one; I would’ve quit it whether or not the other place I offered me a position.

Don’t over-commit yourself
If I were being realistic when I accepted Job A, I would’ve realized that working Saturdays and Sundays 8-4 on top of my Monday-Friday 8-5 wasn’t going to work out well. By the end of the second week I was exhausted and a crazed mess. All I did for those two weeks was come home from whichever job and try to get up the energy to do laundry, dishes, etc. I wasn’t eating properly, I was skipping workouts, and I was skimping on my personal life big time. I was so unhappy, and everyone could see it. Job B allows me to work shifts on weekday evenings and will schedule me for only one weekend day because they agreed with me when I said if I didn’t have one day off I would “go nuts.”

Don’t waste your precious time, but don’t give up
If you simply are not getting what you want out of your second job, leave it. Your free time is too precious to waste. Just be honest with yourself – don’t leave a second job if it’s benefiting you just because you want to hit the bar more often. Most people go through life sleeping; the ones who are awake live in a constant state of amazement. Don’t be content with the status quo – that’s sleeping. You’ll know deep down whether or not it’s worth it. I knew Job A was without a doubt a major waste of my spare time. I had such a strong feeling about Job B, however, that it almost felt kismet that it appeared when it did. I think you’ll know, but if you aren’t sure, give it a shot and quit if it’s not what you wanted.

If money is your Why…
If your Why is the additional income a second job will generate, I have a few suggestions for making it work. Put all of it toward your goal. It can be tempting to splurge on all those little things you’ve been denied based on your regular salary. Don’t give in. A few weeks into it you’ll lose your drive because you can’t see it adding up.

Set up a separate account for this new income. If possible set up a direct deposit for that paycheck into a savings account instead of your checking account. I use ING for my savings instead of my regular bank because it has a higher interest rate and it’s not as convenient to withdrawal from (I am often tempted when I get low on cash to dip into my savings, so ING’s 2-3 day withdrawal time is key for me).

Finally, put some kind of visual reminder of where that money is going somewhere where you’ll see it everyday. This will not only keeping you m
otivated, but it will keep you from spending it on a new set of plates you don’t need from Pier 1.

First, let me admit that I talked about asking for a raise for about two months before I finally got the cojones to actually do it. But that’s sort of how I operate. I like to think I’m improving though.

It all started back around the end of December when I decided I wanted to buy a house. I got in touch with a friend of a friend who is a mortgage broker and we went over my financials.

Mortgage broker: ‘Holly, your DTI [debt-to-income ratio] is simply too high. You do not spend frivolously. I do not see how you could lower your debt much either. You simply do not make enough. Can you ask for a raise?’
Me: ‘Oh, yeah. Let me just go run and ask my boss for a raise and say my mortgage broker said I need it. That’s what I’ve been waiting for.’

I spent a good few weeks feeling hopeless, dejected and trying to figure out how to lower my debt, assuming that a raise was out of the question. As I struggled to find ways to lower my debt, I became frustrated and began to wonder just how little I made… Less than most dental hygenists it turned out. Less than the lower 10 percent of my profession in my state it turned out. Talk about a heightened sense of frustration.

From there I timidly started throwing out the idea to my closest friends: “I’m thinking about asking for a raise,” I’d say casually. And, seeing as I have the best friends in the whole world, all of them said, “Right on! You should! You deserve more!” Thanks, guys.

Then, I told two of my accountability partners. “I’m doing it on Monday,” I swore to my self-imposed bullshit-callers. Then, Monday evening I had to explain to them why I didn’t. A dozen lame excuses later, I realized the only one who was suffering bad pay was me.

I did a little bit of research online, but honestly unless you’ve never asked for a raise before, don’t really have a valid reason to do so, or don’t have a parent or mentor to explain it to you, then this is a waste of time. I didn’t learn anything I didn’t already know, and all it did was give me a way to put off what I didn’t want to do. So one morning, armed with notes and government labor statistics, I meekly asked my boss if he had a minute.

I opened the conversation with a comment on not really knowing how raises worked (not quite true – I was very familiar with my company’s policies, which I highly recommend you know before going in), but that I had passed my six-month mark with no evaluation. He replied that raises usually came at the one year mark and in the form of 2-3 percent. Was this what I was looking for, he asked. Well, I replied, I was looking for something a little more substantial and pointed out the industry and market stats I had (briefly and in one easy sentence – no one wants to hear your research paper on the subject). He said he wasn’t sure what he could do, but that I was definitely on track for the small yearly bump.

Rejection. I went in the office bathroom and forced myself to suck back the tears. You’re a grown-up, for crying out loud, I told myself, and hey, at least you asked. Time to look for a new job, I thought. Bummer. I like my job, but nothing will stand in the way of me achieving my own home.

Imagine my surprise two days later when my boss asks me if I have a minute. Here’s what I’ll do for you, he says. Something close to the sum I was hoping for, plus my yearly bump when I get there. Hurrah! Take that soft economy and you financial naysayers! I visited the bathroom again, this time to do a little dance.

So what it did it really take to get my raise? The balls to ask for it. Show up and suit up, and stuff happens. Not showing up because you’re assuming you’ll lose is ridiculous. Know what you want, know what you’re worth and ask for it, politely and informed, and be prepared for one of three answers: yes, no or maybe. You don’t have to demand or threaten to quit. The worst that can happen is they say no or I don’t know. Hey, I’ve been there and it’s still worth it.

No harm in asking.